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Good News Limericks

Good News Limericks in a Year of Bad News

Every cloud has a silver lining 77. February 20, 2026 Just wait until his father hears -- Malfoy's mascot for Chinese New Years! With a name like a horse, The puns slither in force. The joy's felt in lands far and near. https://www.the-independent.com/asia/china/chinese-new-year-draco-malfoy-harry-potter-b2921617.html?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQJp3ljbGNrBAmndmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHuAIzrxRSv5iTZlTeS-tzudTj_isaHYyHQa8DA6NFgzqXnm7rZOpag-FNaru_aem_DwjPZksXfMCbeDZpMRr4Cg 76. February 18, 2026 The prayers for snow, frequently voiced, Have been heard, and outside sure is moist. The driving's a drag Since the traffic will lag, But, once home, all have rejoiced. 75. April 10, 2025 A plane full of phones? It sounds heavy. Its airplane mode: skipping a levy. With doors shut securely  You can't call me, Shirley. For iPhone this works, but not Chevy. https://www.snopes.com/news/2025/04/10/apple-tariffs-china-india/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQJpy1jbGNrBAmnKWV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNyd...
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Recent posts

Ski Day

Everyone knows that sisters argue about wearing each other's clothes, but I hadn't realized I would have similar arguments with my preteen son. We were trying to get out the door to go skiing today, but first we had to make sure we had ski gear that fit. Last year, I had cobbled together an assortment of boots, skis, and poles from DI for cheap, but this year, since he had supposedly outgrown them, I had shelled out the big bucks at the local ski swap to acquire used boots, skis, and poles of similar quality to the DI ones (the boots had duct tape on them). Since we didn't have any gear that fit me, I asked my sister if I could borrow hers for the day. She gladly obliged, and I drove the 5 minutes to her house to get them. Unfortunately, the boots seemed a little small for me. She reassured me that she could get them on, and as I warbled "Sing, Sweet Nightingale," she tried with all her might to squeeze my foot in.  Unfortunately, I was the ugly stepsister who nee...
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Corn Maze

 She took a deep breath, inhaling the scents of smoke and corn and ink. No one had found them yet. Then the footsteps started. "We know where you are!" a man yelled. Her heart began to pound, and her throat constricted with fear. "Do we run?" her sister asked. "I think we've got to hide," she replied. "But where?" her sister asked, tears forming in her eyes. "Surely they know this corn better than we do." She looked around desperately, wondering where she and her sister could hide. Then she saw it -- a gap in the corn stalks that would fit them both. "In there!" Clutching the papers to their chests, they wedged themselves in the sheaves as far as they could. "Please don't let there be any earwigs," she prayed silently. Footsteps pounded in sync with her heart. "Once we find you, we're going to burn up that Book of Commandments of yours," they said with a sneer. They then cackled and revved their...
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Art Exhibition Opening Mixer

 Right now, the Restore gathering is going on in Sandy, Utah. People such as Terryl Givens, David Butler, and Patrick Mason are presenting their insights and testimonies.  Last night, there was a free art exhibition. I was mildly interested in going, but there were a few things holding me back: 1. The distance (on a school night no less) 2. Traveling alone with a baby for that long in the car and 3. A deep and abiding fear of intellectuals (of which there would probably be some in attendance) So instead, we went to the library to get some books signed by local authors Frank L. Cole and Tyler Whitesides. Although I wasn't able to cross "attend a religiously-themed mixer" off my list of activities I did, going to a crowded activity where I recognized a few people sort of counted in my book. But I still felt like I needed more introspective LDS art in my life. Luckily, just as they did 7 years ago when I wasn't able to attend the New York Mormon Arts Festival, the kids ...
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Mother's Day gift

What every mom wants for Mother's Day is for her kids to do things on their own. Like do their chores, practice the piano, cut their own hair . . .  Well, that last one just happened, anyway. 😂 
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Give into your anger

 Star Wars movies, ranked: 1. Attack of the Clones 2. Empire Strikes Back 3. Force Awakens 4. Last Jedi 5. New Hope 6. Phantom Menace 7. Return of the Jedi 8. Revenge of the Sith 9. Rise of Skywalker These rankings are authoritative. After all, who are we to argue with alphabetical order?
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Offerings

 The sale of the Kirtland Temple reminds me of another purchase the Church made -- land to build a church in Ann Arbor in the early 1980s. When Kevin was in grad school, we went to a party at his adviser's home. His adviser pointed out to me that the LDS Church building was just behind some woods at the edge of his backyard. "This land used to belong to my Episcopalian Church," he said. "The money from the land sale was used to jumpstart the Breakfast at St. Andrew's program." Every day, the cafeteria at St. Andrew's provides breakfast to anyone and everyone. A few months later, a friend and I decided to volunteer there. We woke up early and helped scoop oatmeal into people's bowls. Nearly everyone was a man, and many seemed to have cognitive difficulties. Some said a few things that made my friend and me uncomfortable, but most everyone was gracious. My friend was better than I was at waking up early, so she was a lot better about volunteering there...
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Softening the blow

 6yo: "Mommy, what's your name?" "Kyra." He pointed to his nose. "Nose." He cupped his hands and I immediately said, "Nothing." "Um, Mommy, so this is a joke, and it's not really how you are, but . . . You don't know anything." That is the best delivery of that elementary school joke I've ever heard.
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