Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from April, 2020

Poems from the Yellow Notebook: Pandemic Version

Okay folks. Brace yourselves. I've got another poem for you from the yellow notebook . I think it's from early 2006. I would have been almost 16. And it shows. Today I learned about the flu of 1918. Between fifty and a hundred million died. Half were my age. And now its cousin has come back. There are no vaccines No antibiotics If conditions are the same, 200 million die. I am righteous I think. I don't smoke or swear or hold hands. I try to be nice I think about going to Key Club. Will I be spared? Global warming Loss of civil liberties Fuel crisis And yet, today is the first day of spring If things get worse, There will always be the Equinox. Whew. We all survived that poem, right? I am hoping it wasn't as angsty as it felt as I was writing it down. I am assuming that I didn't think holding hands was that bad. But I was 15, so who knows. (True story: one time in seminary a teacher asked what our favorite commandment was. I said

Empty Linen

The linen which once held Him is empty. It lies there, Fresh and white and clean. The door stands opened. The stone is rolled away, And I can almost hear the angels singing His praises. Linen cannot hold Him. Stone cannot hold Him. The words echo through the empty limestone chamber, “He is not here.” The linen which once held Him is now empty. It lies there, Fresh and white and clean And oh, hallelujah, it is empty. -Emily Harris Adams

Rebirth

At first, Nephi didn't know much about Jesus Christ. One time as I was reading the Book of Mormon, I noticed that Christ's name didn't show up at all in 1 Nephi. At first we get lots of references to "the Lord." Later, Lehi prophesies about the Messiah who is the Redeemer, the Savior of the world.. Then, when Nephi has his vision, he learns about the "Son of God" and the "Lamb of God." Then came "the Holy One of Israel" and "Lord their Redeemer." But it wasn't until 2 Nephi 10 that the name Christ showed up for the first time, and it was Jacob who learned it first. Even after Nephi's visions, it still was a lifelong journey to learn about the Lord, to learn His name and trust in His ability to save. I wonder if he ever had to discard preconceived notions to obtain a proper concept of who He was. When I first made this observation in June 2014, I wondered if I was carrying around any incorrect beliefs about God. *** I

Suffering

E. Stanley Jones once asked Mahatma Gandhi as he sat on a cot in an open courtyard of Yeravda jail, "Isn't your fasting a species of coercion?" "Yes," he said very slowly, "the same kind of coercion which Jesus exercises upon you from the cross." ( The Infinite Atonement , pg 213) Easter is not a comfortable holiday. We do not have tender depictions of a mother holding her new baby and humble shepherds coming to worship Him. Instead we have videos about thorns and nails and weeping women at the cross. Although it wasn't too graphic, we still called The Lamb of God  the "scary Jesus video" at our house when we were little. It was hard to watch! It's hard to see someone hurting. We instinctively want to turn away. And yet, sometimes we cannot turn away. Sometimes it is our own child suffering, and we need to look at the wound in order to help. We are not drawn to them out of morbid curiosity. We are drawn to their suffering because we l

Honey

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. (Alma 7:11-12) My body recognizes the native grasses. Each time I gaze at the vibrant, glowing foothills, I feel this peace fill my soul. This is home, and my eyes and ears and heart know it. And my sinuses . . . they know it too. When I was growing up I was never afflicted with hay fever, nor was I when I lived in Michigan and Connecticut, but when I moved back here my immune system kicked into full gear. Each breath reminds me that these allergens are familiar, and I spend my days

Continuity of Personality

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. -1 John 3:2 Last week, I spent my days scraping hard water off of surfaces, wiping handles and knobs in the kitchen, and other kinds of nitty-gritty, satisfying cleaning. This week's task was less fun -- going through boxes and organizing shelves. As it turns out, this task requires a lot more concentration, so I can't do it when the kids are awake. And I can't do it at night because that's when I have been writing! (So actually I haven't really done it. That's what next week is for.) I did briefly try to tackle one box I had received from my parents. It had lots of old papers and journals in it. I was intrigued by one little notebook I didn't remember. It wasn't my regular journal but I did use it for a few weeks when I was visiting grandparents in Kansas. I laughed at an entry whe

Render unto Caesar

15  ¶  Then went the Pharisees, and took counsel how they might  entangle  him in  his  talk. 16  And they sent out unto him their disciples with the Herodians, saying, Master, we know that thou art true, and teachest the way of God in truth,  neither  carest thou for any  man:  for thou  regardest  not the person of men. 17  Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it  lawful  to give tribute unto Cæsar, or not? 18  But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why  tempt ye  me,  ye  hypocrites? 19  Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny. 20  And he saith unto them, Whose  is  this image and superscription? 21  They say unto him, Cæsar’s. Then saith he unto them,  Render  therefore unto  Cæsar  the things which are Cæsar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s. In my efforts to understand this story better, I spent a little time on Google. There I found several interpretations. Rex E. Lee once used this story to talk about being a better citizen (and to pay

None good but one

Note: this post is part of my annual Holy Week posts. And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. (Mark 10:18) April is National Poetry Month, but so far it looks mostly like National Mary Oliver Month. I've seen this poem several times in various places. Wild Geese You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting - over and over announcing your place in

Worship

Note: this post is part of my annual Holy Week posts. 9  And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying,  Hosanna  to the Son of David:  Blessed   is  he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest. (Matthew 21:9) As Gerald Manley Hopkins wrote, the world is charged with the grandeur of God, but it doesn't always feel like it. It's not just the chaos of wiggly kids on the bench at church or on the couch at scripture time. It's not just that we spend longer reminding our kids to hold still during family prayer than the prayer itself. It's not just that the baby wakes up in the night, takes short naps, and sometimes stays up so late that it's hard to have a quiet moment. No, sometimes the world doesn't feel charged with the grandeur of God because I don't feel charged with the grandeur of God. I know that if my heart is in it, I can be spiritually fed even as I am simultaneously feeding apples and graham crackers and bre