Lessons from the pizza delivery guy

Note: this is a continuation of my Proclamation series.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

-Family Proclamation, 7th paragraph

Things operated a little differently when Mom was gone. Suddenly, lists in her handwriting would show up on the fridge, detailing all the activities we needed to be at. Meals would either be tacos, waffles and scrambled eggs, or pizza pockets -- if we had home-cooked meals at all. (Okay, we kids probably could have cooked, too, but why not let Dad run the whole show?) Normal chores would take lesser priority, replaced by making sure every wooden surface in the home was covered in Orange-glo. "It will be so nice for Mom to come back to this shine," Dad would say as we scrubbed chairs and cupboards. And he would always have us go do something fun. Matinees, swimming at the USU pool, or miniature golfing.

One time when I was 14, my mom was gone for the evening. So, my dad decided to take us miniature golfing.  As we pulled up to the course, we saw a pizza delivery guy getting out of his car with a bunch of pizza boxes, probably for some party at the golf course.

"You know, you'd have to be really strong to carry all those pizza boxes," my sister Kiana remarked.

"Yeah, and smart!" my dad replied. "I mean, you have to know how to find your way around to deliver all those pizzas!"

"And brave," he continued. "For all you know, when you ring the doorbell, the person could just punch you in the face and take the pizza."

"Yeah!" we agreed.

"You know what? I'm going to go tell him what we think of him," my dad said and he walked over to the pizza delivery guy. The rest of us stayed put, laughing in embarrassment.

"Excuse me, sir," he said as he walked up to him. "We (pointing back to us kids) just wanted to let you know that we think you're strong, smart, and brave." I had turned away with my face bright red so I didn't see what the guy's response was. Probably confused but flattered.

After we finished miniature golf, my Dad continued his "fun dad" routine and ordered pizza. When the doorbell rang, I started running to the door to answer it. My dad beat me there.

"Well, if it isn't that same strong, smart, and brave pizza guy!" he said. I was so mortified that I dashed into the kitchen and ducked under my mom's desk until he was gone.

What does all of this have to do with the Family Proclamation? Well, we know that fathers are supposed to preside, provide, and protect. That is, they need to be like the pizza delivery guy -- they need to be strong to preside, smart to provide, and brave to protect. Or maybe it's smart to preside, brave to provide, and strong to protect.

Okay, it doesn't match up perfectly. At any rate, what really matters is the ability to embarrass your kids. But I think that comes naturally.