Betsy Tacy

The past few weeks, I've found myself rereading the Bety-Tacy books with a passion. I only own the first four in Michigan, but when I went home last week (more on that later), I picked up where I had left off and kept on reading til I made it through the last one.

The first time I was introduced to these books was probably when I was about 5, which is how old Betsy is in the first book. (Subsequent books follow her through the rest of childhood, high school, and even through the first three years of marriage.) As I got older, I'd get the occasional Betsy-Tacy book for Christmas or birthdays until I had the whole collection. Although I didn't really appreciate some of the later books when I was younger, I was old enough for this reading to have been every age written about and could identify with her better overall.

For that matter, I've always identified with Betsy probably more than any other literary character ever -- she was the second daughter, had straight brown hair, front teeth with a gap in the middle, a musical family, a story-writing hobby, a mild obsession with boys, and even a late April birthday in the early 90s (albeit 1890's). The fact that these books are more autobiographical than not makes them even more charming, and I found myself thoroughly engrossed in Betsy's (aka Maud's) life, reporting on it to anyone in earshot.

As I read, one of the strongest feelings I felt was longing, particularly in the high school books. Her life seemed so ideal! By the end of the books, I had made a list of things I was a little jealous of, either in her own life or just as part of their culture.

• Dressmakers. People came to your house and made clothes that fit you! And they were always classy.
• For that matter, they wore dresses! (I know I'm sitting here writing this in jeans that I am grateful for, but I still love dresses.)
• The lack of makeup. In all books set in this time, it seems like the only person who ever wore makeup was Lillian Russell, whoever that was. And that just seems easier.
• Housekeepers. And cooks.
• The walkability of the town. Right from the first book, the girls seem to be able to walk anywhere they want (with some boundaries that change as they get older). If you have to drive your kids everywhere, it's much harder to avoid helicopter parenting.
• The way Betsy's friends (male and female) would come to her house all the time before and after school and on weekends. This was more a function of how close she lived to the high school than an early 1900s thing, but I remember longing for that sort of feeling at my house when I was in high school (a hard thing to achieve when the high school is 15 minutes one way and most of your friends live 20 minutes the other way).
• The lack of awkwardness about dating. Granted, there is a lot in the high school books about Betsy's dating life, but I felt like it was a much more relaxed atmosphere than I remembered. It just seemed like boys and girls could be friends and date each other without huge implications, and even if they started dating seriously it still didn't mean a whole lot (not much kissing, for example).
• The way they (Betsy and friends) would stand around the piano and sing . . . and that was their idea of fun! I can count on one hand the number of times I have managed to make that happen, and can count on one hand with all fingers amputated the number of times it hasn't felt awkward.
• The lack of ultimate frisbee. (It's not the worst thing ever, but I'd definitely say wearing dresses and singing around the piano is much more my idea of fun than dropping frisbees.)
• All the letters! She was writing and receiving letters all the time! I guess we have texting now, but letters are more satisfying.
• The lack of stigmas against any sort of life choice for the girls. One friend meets a guy 9 years older than her and gets married young. Great! One friend is happy with her advertising job and won't settle down til she finds someone who respects her. Awesome! Betsy herself turns down a job as a newlywed simply because she feels like learning to keep house is a full time job for her. No problem! All this before women even have the right to vote.
• The way her husband made $150 a month and rent was $30 a month. They were still probably pretty poor, but I think a 5:1 ratio of income to rent sounds amazing.

Of course, there was plenty about that time that I didn't envy. 

• The pompadours. I like the occasional fancy up-do, but I'm glad that leaving my hair down is a socially acceptable option now.
• The smoking. I am pretty sure the smell of smoke was everywhere back then. Betsy made it a game of reforming her guy friends and hanging their pipes on the wall, but as soon as they became adults they probably started it up again. Yuck.
• Death and sickness. Facebook has this funny way of surrounding me in all sorts of tragedy, both of people I know and people whose stories make it into news media, but I'd say that it still doesn't hit my immediate circle the way it seemed to hit Betsy's life. Tacy's baby sister dies in the first book, and there's not a whole lot of reprieve, especially as they get older.
• For that matter . . . at the end of her junior year, her friend's dad dies, and he has to drop out of high school to support the family. That is his only option! I cannot comprehend it! What a world.
• Mustaches. Way worse than beards.
• Having to dress up any time you stepped outside.
• Having to iron so much.
• The lack of modern appliances. I mean, they're not mentioned much in the books, because you don't know what you're missing until you own it, but I probably would not like Minnesota much in the summer without some sort of air conditioning.

And so on. As I've sat the past few days ruminating on the books, I've come to realize that a lot of what I envy is simply not possible now. I just don't have the inclination to dress like a woman in 1910, romantic as it sounds. I probably won't live in a town compact enough to let my kids walk everywhere or count on their friends naturally congregating at our home. I can't make the world realize that dating in 1915 sounds more fun than dating in 2015.

But as I read, that feeling of longing I mentioned was also a feeling of excitement. There are a lot of great things in those books that can be part of any family culture, and these books provided a pretty good blueprint on how to start them from the get-go. Time and time again, Betsy's friends would remark that her parents got along better than anyone they knew, that her family was one of the happiest they had ever seen, and that they felt so welcome there no matter their background. Although us Moons may be quieter people than the fictional Rays (or not-so-fictional Harts), there's still a lot we can do to make our home just as happy and generous as theirs.

Plus, we'll probably have air conditioning.