Today, I gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting. After providing a brief intro about our family, here's what I had to say:
Before I get too far into the talk, I want to speak to the kids and toddlers first. Let me explain why. Last year I counted how many kids were in the ward and discovered 70 were ages 3 and younger. 70! And then 50 more in Junior Primary! Numbers might have changed, but probably not a ton. So, I think you Primary and nursery kids deserve a good chunk of attention since you make up a good chunk of the ward. So, Jim, and all of Jim's friends, I just want to let you know that I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real, and they love you so much. And we can share their love with everybody, too! I also want you to know that your parents and grandparents and teachers love you so much too. Sometimes you might get mad at your mom or dad. Sometimes they might get mad at you. But because Jesus Christ died for us, we all can change our minds and be kind again! We can even become like Jesus someday!
If your kids are loud the rest of the time now, that's okay. That’s basically the whole talk in a nutshell.
[side note: I did notice it get a lot louder right after this. Mostly because John started yelling and kept making noise the rest of the time.]
I also want to speak to those of you who, for whatever reason, may not feel like you fit the mold. Perhaps you are here for your first or second time, and this just feels totally new and strange -- though hopefully totally awesome too. Maybe you are here without some or all of your family. Maybe you are battling health challenges, or struggling with various needs in loved ones. Maybe you are hearing this from the hallway, wondering why on earth you're even coming when you are only getting a few drops of goodness here and there. Perhaps you are coming even though the church no longer brings you the joy you thought it should.
If you fit into any of these categories, please know that I think you are brave and amazing, and the rest of us have so much to learn from you. Thank you for being here. I have the same message for you as I did for the Primary kids -- Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real, and they love you so much! And one of the wonderful things about being a member of this church is the many ways we can receive that love and learn how to really love God and all of His children.
One of the ways we express and receive that love is through covenants, which are sacred agreements we make with God. The first covenant that brings us into the church is baptism. As explained in the Gospel Principles manual, "We covenant with the Savior at baptism to take upon ourselves His name." We thus become His representatives on earth, becoming part of His church, remembering Him in our day to day lives, bearing each other's burdens, and standing as a witness of God. Then, in the temple we make covenants which bring us from a fallen world back into the presence of God. And then, the final covenant is the marriage covenant, in which we decide that we love another one of God's children enough to be stuck with them for the rest of forever.
Each of these covenants creates ties between us and someone else. With these covenants we attach ourselves to our church, our God, and individuals. Today I was asked to talk about being covenant people and how we can better dedicate our lives to God and to His Children.
The first step in becoming a covenant people is to consecrate, or dedicate, your life to the Lord. Consecration means loving God more than anything in the world. The Savior taught that the first and great commandment is "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (Matthew 22:37) The second commandment is like unto it, which is loving our neighbor, but, as President Monson said, "We cannot fully love our fellowmen if we do not love God, the Father of us all." (Love, the Essence of the Gospel)
Why is it not enough to love our neighbors? Why can't we just perform acts of service and be good listeners and call it good?
The reason for me is that if I try to be good without loving God first, I end up focusing on myself. These acts do not glorify God which is in heaven (Matthew 5:16) but instead turn into a chance to prove to myself that I am righteous enough. It is when I love God first that I forget about my own pride and provide the love that my friends and family really need.
But how can we love God? How can we consecrate our time and talents to God without feeling overwhelmed by what might be required?
I think the answer is gratitude. I like what Suzy Stein said a few weeks ago. "When we are in a place of gratitude, we have a sense of abundance rather than a sense of scarcity. When we recognize that we are abundantly blessed, we are naturally more inclined to reach out to others, to help and bless our brothers and sisters, because we feel we have something to give."
The thing we can be most grateful for is Jesus Christ's Atonement. He loves us enough that He suffered every sin and temptation for us so He can rescue us when we fall. When we are filled with gratitude for this incredible gift, we realize that it is worth giving up all of our sins to know Him (Alma 22:18).
Sometimes those sins are large, but often the small ones do just as effective of a job from blocking us from feeling God's love. More often than I care to admit, I've done things that I shouldn't. I've been too impatient, or I've judged people unfairly. When I'm in those circumstances, I've found there are two options.
Option A: Justify my new position as the correct position. People need to change to meet me where I am. Prayers need to be answered the way I want, usually with other people changing. Luckily, before long, the dissonance I feel living like this leads me to
Option B. I realize that, like Paul, "It is hard to kick against the pricks." It’s time to repent. One time in particular, I was upset over a long list of incidents where I felt like I had been treated unfairly over and over again. And, you know, maybe I was. But while I was in my state of unrighteous indignation, a whisper sneaked into my heart. "Is it possible that you are wrong, too?" I suddenly realized that no matter how I had been treated, I was not acting in a way that was aligned with God's will for me. I may have been wronged, but more importantly, I was wrong. I was suddenly filled with immense desire to no longer be wrong anymore. I began to plead with God to forgive me, and I was filled with an immense amount of love that changed my outlook on the situation. It didn't fix everything immediately, but it gave me the strength and wisdom to handle the situation better.
I've had other experiences where I have felt rescued by God's grace. Sometimes the rescue isn't necessarily about sin. Sometimes His grace has come on days where I am ready to explode or throw the towel in. His love is there for me to borrow, along with a whisper of, "you should let yourself get more sleep" or "you should ask someone for help." Repentance is a chance to improve all areas of our life to be closer to God and His glorious light.
As we grow closer to God by consecrating our lives to Him, we will have to give things up. This has been absolutely terrifying to me. I've often thought of a quote from a novel by Shannon Hale to describe my fear in giving up things I'm used to: "She's a thornbush protecting a hare that's too skinny to eat." The hare that's too skinny to eat might be a bad habit or some other shortcoming, but to give it up seems like giving up a part of myself. But, as the monk Thomas Merton said,
"We are only really ourselves when we completely consent to "receive" the glory of God into ourselves. Our true self is, then, the self that receives freely and gladly the missions that are God's supreme gift to his [children]" (New Seeds of Contemplation, 42)
Like Lucy Teichert said last week, I think it's okay to feel sad about sacrifices we are asked to make. But, ultimately, we need to make those sacrifices to become closer to God and to each other. This is what it means to be a covenant people -- to be willing to give up our pride, our desires, our popularity, and our power -- because we know that Christ has engraved us on His palms and we in turn can engrave His image in our countenance. As He covenanted with Abraham, He will be our God and we will be His people, and the joy we feel when we recognize His grace will give us the courage to truly follow Him.
One thing I've realized about the Atonement that helps me keep my covenants better is that it is not only about becoming one with God but also becoming one with each other. Just as there is a gap between us and God, there are gaps between us and everyone else. Given enough time, enough sleep deprivation, enough colds and headaches, and enough hunger, we will rub each other wrong. It is one of the most wonderful things about living in close quarters with people for a little while. Why? Because it is a great chance to see the Atonement in action. Will we set aside our differences to understand each other's point of view? Will we set aside our judgments to comfort those in need of comfort? Will we set aside our pride to apologize to those we have offended? It is often after these experiences that we learn the most about love and the most about grace.
Just as we must learn to love those closest to us, we must also develop the spiritual muscles to know how to reach outside our immediate circle. This can be difficult because we have so many of our own stresses and concerns. With so many other demands on our attention, it can be easy to forget, as Elder Maxwell said, “the hands which hang down and most need to be lifted up” that “belong to those too discouraged even to reach out anymore." (Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father)
How do we learn how to lift the hands which hang down?
A recent Facebook post from Elder D. Todd Christofferson offers some ideas. "Others will know and feel of our love and Heavenly Father’s love for them when we simply remember them. Something as small as a letter, a text message, or a phone call can be a great blessing. Being there to celebrate significant achievements or to grieve during times of loss make a lasting impression that will lift those in need and bring us closer together and closer to our Heavenly Father. . . .
These are some simple examples of keeping our baptismal covenants to “bear one another’s burdens,” “mourn with those that mourn,” and “comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”"
To be honest, this may seem easier to do with people who are in similar life circumstances. But as Bishop Gerald Causse said, "It is very likely that the next person converted to the gospel in your ward will be someone who does not come from your usual circle of friends and acquaintances." (No More Strangers, 2013) And they deserve our love and attention too. This has sometimes been tricky for me as I've listened to problems completely outside the realm of my experience because I've had no well of empathy I can draw from. What are we supposed to do then?
I'm comforted by Alma 7:12-13 which states that Christ "will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. 13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people."
We do not have to be the ultimate source of empathy. Christ has already taken it on Himself, and the Spirit knows all things. Thus, the closer we are to the Spirit, the closer we can be to the source of all healing. As Sister Neill F. Marriott said,
"With the help of the Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated against, the rejected, and the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we build the kingdom of God. . . . [A]ll of us came to earth with these life-giving, nurturing, maternal gifts because that is God’s plan." (Neill L. Marriott, "What Shall We Do?")
I’ve often wondered how I can bring the Holy Ghost more into my life so I can be prepared to build the kingdom in these ways. Here are some questions I’ve considered as I attempt to draw closer to God and His Spirit.
1-Rather than spending my free time in the evenings getting lost in various distractions, could I instead do other tasks that typically take up daytime hours? Could I make time for more temple work and service by using all hours better?
2-Similarly, am I willing to do things which draw me closer to God, such as study my scriptures better, work on family history, and really pray?
3-In my various day-to-day duties, such as chores or taking care of kids, can I remember God and consecrate my work to him?
4-Can I show more gratitude for all that God has given me, especially in times of trial?
I believe these will changes help us recognize the Holy Ghost better. I've also considered the following questions as I've wondered how to serve God's children better and create an emotionally healing place for them.
1-Can I learn how to engage in meaningful conversation -- learning how to not interrupt or just talk about myself -- so I can really learn to listen to those around me?
2-Can I serve them in the ways they most need rather than the ways I am accustomed to?
3-Can I go to church events not just in automatic mode, but instead actively reach out and get to know people there?
4-Do I have the courage to reach out in the community, especially to those who I may feel like I have little in common with?
5-Am I brave enough to share my beliefs, even when I face skepticism or exclusion as the result?
6-Do I have enough faith to share the gospel even when I don't tangibly feel the joy I know it can provide? Can I be both genuine and hopeful?
I admit that the answer to many of these questions has been "nope," but I can keep repenting, and so can you! Although it will take courage to love people beyond a superficial level and to actively share our testimony of Christ through words and actions, I promise it will bless their lives and our lives in so many ways. The world needs people faithful in their testimony of Jesus Christ far more than it needs people who are good at being fun and relatable. As Elder Maxwell said, if we are valiant, "[We] could touch others deeply instead of merely being remembered pleasantly." (Neal A. Maxwell, "Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father")
Thank you all for being this kind of friend to our family, the kind that has touched us deeply (though we will remember you pleasantly, too.) Thank you to all of you for nurturing us while we've lived here. Thank you for bearing our burdens and comforting us through times of sadness. Thank you for feeding us, for watching our kids, for encouraging us, for including us, and for making space for us in your hearts. I have learned so much about charity by experiencing it firsthand.
I know that this kind of love is possible because we have Heavenly Parents and a Savior who operate the universe with this kind of love. I know we have a loving God because He sent His Son Jesus Christ to earth, and it is because of Him that I can hope to be with Heavenly Father again someday. It is because of Christ that we will see our families after we die, and it is because of Christ that we will even want to be with them. As D&C 130:2 states, "And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy."
I am so grateful for our covenants that give us a taste of that eternal glory. I am grateful that Joseph Smith trusted God to answer his questions, and that God trusted him to restore His priesthood power to the earth. I know that that power is real, and I know that this church still holds the keys to the priesthood. I know that there is life after death, and that temple ordinances really bless those who have passed on. I know that when we have holes in our hearts or testimonies, or gaps between us and God or us and each other, Christ's grace will fill in the holes and the gaps, for He is mighty to save.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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