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Who shapes us?

(This is part of my Holy Week series.)

As I've observed my boys the past few days, I've thought about how much their personalities are shaped by each other. They of course come a certain way but I think about how they might bring out the methodical, the wild, the responsible, and the kind in each other. Some of it is following someone's example whereas some of it is in reaction to another's behavior.

I think we're all the same way. I think of how friendships have shaped me over the years. Most of them have helped me be open and trusting, but a few left me with a defensive shell. To a large extent my interests have been affected by the interests of those around me.

It makes sense, of course. If you're with toxic people, it's hard to not be defensive and wary. If you're with irresponsible people, you either become irresponsible yourself or become overly responsible to compensate. If you're with dishonest people, it can be so hard to remember what truth is that you might become dishonest yourself.

Luckily, the converse is true. If you are surrounded by generous people you learn how to be generous. If you are surrounded with patient people you learn their techniques to be patient, too. It's up to you to develop those qualities in yourself, but at least you are exposed to them!

Perhaps that is why we are commanded to develop a relationship with God. If our earthly relationships can shape us so much, then our heavenly relationships can, too. As we get to know a kind, loving, compassionate, merciful God, then we will become that way too. As we "draw near" unto God, He will draw near to us (D&C 88:63) and make us more like Him.

Of course, there's always the question of how to draw near to God. But when I think of ways that I have developed relationships with people -- talk to them frequently, develop similar interests, listen to their stories -- I realize those all apply to a relationship with God too. Prayer. Service. Scripture study. If it's all done with the intent to draw near unto God, then we really will!

And then, as we learn in 1 John 3,
We know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
And every toxic, irresponsible, dishonest, manipulative, or abusive thing that attached itself to us won't matter anymore because His purity will make us pure too.

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