Library Planning Meeting

LIBRARY DIRECTOR: Hello, everyone! Thanks for being here. We're here to discuss ways to make the library more child friendly. I have invited a special guest who has helped design libraries across the country. Say hello!

(Everyone murmurs "hello" to the GUEST.)

DIRECTOR: Now, let me know what you have so far.

LIBRARIAN 1: We have installed some bright new couches and some cushions that will be fun for babies to crawl over. We tried to get some that won't get too germy.

LIBRARIAN 2: We have lots of tables set up for kids to color at.

DIRECTOR: That sounds great! I think we need just one more thing to make this a great children's library section.

LIBRARIAN 1: I think puzzles would be great. Lots and lots of wooden puzzles. Little kids love those.

LIBRARIAN 2: I think lots of toys would be great. Duplos, trains, other building toys, maybe play food, maybe puppets, stuff like that.

DIRECTOR (turning to the guest): What do you suggest?

GUEST: Those are all nice ideas, but what you really need is computers.

LIBRARIANS: Computers???

GUEST: Sure. Why else would anyone want to come to the library?

LIBRARIAN 1: I thought it was for the books.

GUEST: Kids these days don't need books. They need a chance to play the computer games their parents played in the 90s.

LIBRARIAN 2: That's a good point.

LIBRARIAN 1: But do kids really need more screen time?

GUEST: Oh, we could make sure there's a time limit of, say, 30 minutes.

LIBRARIAN 2: During that time, the parents could go get books from their section of the library.

GUEST: Except that the parents will have to stay and supervise. Those headphone cords could be dangerous.

LIBRARIAN 1: So when do parents get to browse for books?

GUEST: They'll figure it out.

DIRECTOR: I'm liking this idea . . . what did you say your name was? Stan?

GUEST: Close enough.

DIRECTOR. But I do have a concern. We don't have a huge budget for computers. How do we afford this?

GUEST: I bet you could find cheap computers. It might even be better that way. I'd say try to keep only 50% of the computers functional at any given time. It'll be a fun guessing game for the kids.

LIBRARIAN 1: Have you ever even worked with kids?

GUEST: As they go from computer to computer that randomly shuts down, they'll get to restart their 30 minutes each time. Parents will love using up time that way. And they'll love having to sit next to their kids to help them figure out each game.

LIBRARIAN 1: What if parents don't want to do that?

GUEST: They can just say no to their toddlers. What, modern parents have never heard of Vitamin N? Back in my day, when parents said no to a 2-year-old, the 2-year-old took it in stride. They never threw tantrums about computers, especially in a library where everyone knows you're supposed to be quiet.

LIBRARIAN 1: Back in your day, there probably weren't computers.

LIBRARIAN 2: I don't know if I love this idea, to be honest. It's already stressful to strap kids into car seats, drive to the library, and cart everyone and all the books back into the library. This sounds like an extra level of difficulty.

GUEST: Of course! But if you are going out in public you should just count on things being difficult. Most people you encounter in public are probably feeling a bit impatient for one reason or another. If things are already difficult, what's a little bit more stress?

LIBRARIAN 1: So should we make it easier on parents to be in public or not?

GUEST (in a condescending voice): If it's easier for parents to be in public with their kids then they'll be in public more often. That's the last thing we need.

LIBRARIAN 2: But this is a children's library.

DIRECTOR: Well, I think it's time to wrap this meeting up. Thanks for all your input! We'll have the computers installed ASAP.