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Fall headfirst into unselfishness

 Boyd K. Packer once said, "Romantic love is not only a part of life, but literally a dominating influence of it. It is deeply and significantly religious."

I've been thinking about this quote for several weeks now. I know that for many people romantic love is not part of their lives, and they still live happy, fulfilling lives. I don't think it is necessarily the dominating part of life even for people in a romantic relationship for much of their lives.

But I still think there's something special about romantic love, even if it's never reciprocated. I think it's one of the first great introductions to Christlike love.

After all, there's more to having a crush than feeling warm and tingly when you're close to the person. More to it than always wanting to be with them. More to it than lying awake thinking about them. There's also this element of surrender, this feeling that you would do anything for them. I remember this feeling well with various crushes (as well as some of the silly things I did when I was in this state). I remember the day my future husband admitted he felt this way about me.

A feeling of devotion to someone else's happiness doesn't have to be romantic, of course. You can feel it with your baby or child. You can feel it with a dear friend of any age.

But there's a good chance that the first time you'll feel it is with a crush. And perhaps that's one reason Elder Packer described romantic love as deeply religious -- it is this wonderful opportunity to fall headfirst into unselfishness.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if romantic love can teach us about the kind of love God wants us to feel toward Him. He wants worship to be an exciting, exhilarating experience, a chance for devotion to be a quest rather than a chore. He wants us to get to experience these feelings because that is what He feels for us.

And so, romantic love isn't just about learning to love another person. It is a gift from God -- a gift that He created our silly, self-preserving brains in a way that we can still find it in us to care about other people and be excited about it. It is a way for us to learn about true love by letting us experience the thrill of it even before the love has matured.

So, as we are counseled in 1 John, "Let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." 

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