Church Music Festival

As I briefly mentioned before, while I was in Utah, I had the opportunity to attend the Church Music Festival on Temple Square.

So, if you recall, way back in November 2014, my ward choir performed a hymn I wrote. I decided to submit a simpler version of it to the church music contest last March. (Why simpler? 1. I had written the choral part and the organ part separately, and at the time it seemed hard to combine them without making a song that was a unwieldy 15 pages long, 2. I had spent so long tweaking the first line that I was burned out from looking at it anymore, and 3. I wanted it to be short and compact enough to maybe end up in the Ensign someday. A girl can dream.)

I submitted it, and on the 4th of July, I found out it had gotten Special Recognition! In November, I received an invitation to hear it performed in the February Church Music Festival. Since we didn't go home for Christmas and it aligned pretty well with Kevin's spring break, we decided to plan a trip at a time that we could attend.

So, on the afternoon of the 26th, we drove up to Salt Lake for a dinner and a concert. After we dropped Jim and John off with family, Kevin and I headed up to the second floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building for a fancy dinner that consisted half of composers and half of Priesthood and Family employees (most of them in the music department). After the dinner, we headed to the Assembly Hall for the concert. The Salt Lake Institute Singers performed 20 of the winning pieces, including mine. Following the concert, I met up with family and chatted for a bit.

That's the basic version of the evening. There was a lot about the evening that made me really happy, and a lot that I learned.

First, here's what made me happy:

• The choir! Oh, that was a talented, beautiful choir. Twenty songs is a lot to learn, and they had most of them memorized. The accompaniment was incredible, the instrumental solos were lovely, and it was just all around a great concert. Now that I know what a great concert it is, I would go each year even if I had no personal connection to it.
• The songs! There were so many gorgeous, well-crafted songs that night. They were recording the concert so we had no applause between numbers, but there were many, many times when I wanted to. I also wished there was a way to send all the sheet music to all the ward choir directors in the world so they could have this great material to work with.
• They said my name right! There were two times that night when my heart started racing. One was about a minute before my song, and the other was right before the director said my name. I shouldn't have worried too much because they emailed asking how to say it, but it still was a major relief.
• Winning! I mean, I only got an honorable mention of sorts, but it still felt really good (especially when I heard that the number of submissions was somewhere between 600 and 1000 across 8 categories). The members of the music committee did a really good job of making us all feel like winners, which was nice.
• Seeing my family! There are times when I really want to be famous -- when I want real musicians to notice me or lots of people to watch my YouTube channel. But then, seeing siblings and friends and parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles filling up a section of the Assembly Hall to support me (and others saying they'd make it if they could) -- it means a lot more than a few dozen more views on a video. So thanks, everyone!
• My kids were good during the concert! I had asked if they could attend because it would make the babysitting situation easier, and they did great! The joke is, there was another child there that sounded enough like John to make me fret from the beginning of my song til the end of the concert, but once I found out it wasn't him, it was such a relief. It was neat to share this experience with them, even if they don't remember it.

There was also a lot I learned both over the course of the evening and in the days since. A lot of what I learned was articulated by Sally DeFord, who was one of the composers with winning pieces and the keynote speaker. (As a side note, when I first submitted songs to the contest, I said, "I will probably lose to either Janice Kapp Perry or Sally DeFord" . . . and I was right! I had also submitted my arrangement of "Come, Ye Disconsolate" in the Relief Society Category, and it hadn't placed, but hers had. No hard feelings.) (As another side note, on the drive to Salt Lake, I said, "I bet Sally DeFord is tired of going to these dinners, so she probably won't make the trip" . . . and I was wrong! So, I was 1 for 2.) I was able to obtain a copy of her talk, so I'll quote some of it here.

One thing that has been hard with sharing my music is sharing imperfections with so many people. On the drive to Salt Lake, I said to Kevin, "You know what? I still don't like the title." There are lines in the hymn that aren't quite right. There are words that don't fit just right. The whole process made me feel incredibly vulnerable.

So I liked what Sally said about that. "[I]f your hands and your heart are willing, the Lord will lead you to the right places and the right people—the ones who will be blessed as you use the gifts He has given you, and it won't matter that your creations aren't perfect. His grace is certainly sufficient for
that."

Another thing she spoke about was criticism. She asked, "Isn't it amazing how one critical voice can drown out all the others?"

I think I know why that's the case. For some reason, criticism is seen as something that only the elite can do. The uneducated masses, they're the ones who have the audacity to enjoy food, music, or movies. But those of us who know better can find everything wrong. When critics clearly have such superior intellect, who wouldn't respect the opinion of a critic more than the opinion of a fan?

But there's a flaw in this argument. We live in the "age of the gifted pickle sucker," to quote President Gordon B. Hinckley. It is a lot easier to tear down than lift up, as anyone who has read YouTube comments can testify. Thus, the voice of a critic really isn't as enlightened as we might fool ourselves into thinking. We can, and must believe the voices who see the good rather than the flaws. They are the ones with a proper perspective.

And of course, the one with the best perspective is the Lord Himself. And He's going to be the kindest, most validating audience of all! As Sally said, "The Lord said that He delights in the song of the heart. He didn't say the flawless song of the heart. You take paper and ink and you write your heart into the lines, and the Lord delights in it. That is, perhaps, the best reward of all—to know that what you do not only teaches and inspires and uplifts His children, but delights His very soul. What a wonderful gift to give back to the Creator who has given us all we have."

Overall, this has been a humbling, enlightening experience. I am grateful for this chance I've had to share a bit of my soul with others, and grateful for the kindness I've received in return.