PAUL: Hey, guys! I'm so glad you two could come to this planning meeting. We need some ideas for how to design the entertainment system in the Chrysler Pacifica minivan.
DAN: I am so excited to do this, Paul. I love making travel easier for families.
PAUL: Thanks, Dan. I've got this new guy here who also has a lot of ideas. I'll let you two get to work!
LUC: Hi, Dan. Let's do this!
DAN: Okay, so we had a great design for the Chrysler Town and Country. There was DVD drive up front, and as soon as the CD or DVD was in the disc drive, it started playing automatically. If you wanted to skip a track, you could push a button on a screen or even use a button on the steering wheel. I'd love to keep that simple design moving forward.
LUC: I don't know if that's what people want anymore, Dan. Everyone and their kid has a device, so all we need is lots of charger ports throughout the car so every kid can sit and watch.
DAN: But people still have their old DVDs and CDs. They'd like their kids to get to watch them in the car all together. Besides, some people don't want to give their kids devices with unlimited access to the internet.
LUC: Fair enough. We will slap on a DVD/CD drive too. But since DVDs are passe now, we don't need to put forth that much effort to make them useable.
DAN: Um.
LUC: We can still have the DVD drive up front, but besides that there should be no control up there. That's not safe for the driver.
DAN: There might be someone in the passenger seat.
LUC: Doesn't matter. Their only job will be to push the button that says "Rear Seat."
DAN: Then what happens?
LUC: Well, hopefully there is an able-bodied individual over the age of 10 sitting in a rear seat who can get the movie started. But, of course, they can't turn the sound on themselves.
DAN: Who turns on the sound?
LUC: The passenger. They have to press the word "Listen." We are keeping that word very small so people can practice their fine-motor skills while barreling down the freeway.
DAN: Sounds like a hassle, but at least the movie is going now!
LUC: Sometimes.
DAN: Why just sometimes?
LUC: Well, sometimes the audio and visual won't be synced. No one knows why. Then you can take the DVD out and put it back in and repeat the process.
DAN: But then it will work, right?
LUC: Sometimes. But then you can push two circular buttons for 15 seconds to reset the whole entertainment system. That should clear it up.
DAN: Does it clear it up?
LUC: Sometimes. And sometimes it just makes the DVD drive not work at all.
DAN: How do you fix that?
LUC: I don't know. Probably turning the car off.
DAN: That might not be feasible. But let's back up to when the sound was out of sync. If you just turn on a CD, then it shouldn't matter if it's out of sync because there's no visual.
LUC: Correct. Great idea.
DAN: And then if there's a track you want to skip, you just push the button on your steering wheel.
LUC: No, we don't have that connected to the DVD drive. What year do you think this is, 2015?
DAN: So how do you skip tracks?
LUC: The able-bodied individual in the rear seat can do it for you.
DAN: But what if there are just toddlers there?
LUC: Dan, I have been working hard on so many other ideas for this car besides that antiquated system. This is a great opportunity to play music from other sources. Did you know you can put music on a USB drive and listen to it? And that will be connected to the steering wheel buttons too.
DAN: That's great! And it always works?
LUC: No.
DAN: Why not?
LUC: Who knows? Maybe you just have to pull it out and put it back in to remind it to read the USB drive. Maybe you tried that and did it at the wrong moment and corrupted it altogether. Maybe you just need to try a different USB drive. And maybe it will work again in a minute. I understand that screaming 1-year-olds are no fun, so we try to compensate by making a fun guessing game.
DAN: Okay, I'm looking at the screens again. Can you get Disney Plus through this entertainment system?
LUC: Do you have three hours to fiddle with the settings while reading hints from strangers on a forum? Then yes!
DAN: Great. Then you don't need the DVDs!
LUC: Most of the time it won't work anyway. Then you can try pushing the two circular buttons for 15 seconds to restart the system. Disney Plus should work again for a good 3 minutes before skipping and freezing.
DAN: What's left?
LUC: Using that same hotspot, you can get YouTube as well! That's going to be more reliable.
DAN: Is it though?
LUC: Well, not when you're going through a canyon. Then no internet works! But you can use music from your phone, as long as you don't need any kind of internet access for it.
DAN: That's true. I could just go into Android Auto and click on the YouTube music icon on the car screen to access all the music I have saved there.
LUC: No, we don't want you to be able to access any of your music from the car screen. Ask your friend in the passenger seat to pick up your phone and get turn on the music.
DAN: What? Luke, this is getting ridiculous!
LUC: It's actually pronounced "Loose." Short for "Lucifer." Anyway, there's always the radio.
DAN (wearily): Is there always the radio?
LUC: Not in a canyon. Honestly, Dan, why are you expecting so much from your entertainment system when you're in a canyon?
DAN: So how does this entertainment system help families?
LUC: Have you ever heard of community? Think of the relationships your kids will make with people they don't know as their parents commiserate in church parking lots about the entertainment system. It will keep everyone humble as they ask for help that they cannot get from anyone associated with Chrysler Pacifica. Also, think of the camaraderie the kids will develop when they sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" after all other music options are taken away.
PAUL: I'm back! Did you guys come up with a great design?
DAN: NO.
LUC: I feel really satisfied with what we have here. Between CDs, DVDs, USB drives, Disney Plus, YouTube, music from the phone, and the radio, there's always going to be something to please everyone.
PAUL: Great. Let's get this slapped together and out to the public!
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